Christians who are Parents, not Parents who are Christians
- because parenting is an outworking of our identity as Christians, then everything Ephesians says about the Christian life has application to parenting.
- Ephesians 4:15 applies to parenting
- Ephesians 4:17 applies to parenting
- Ephesians 4:26 and Ephesians 4:31-32 applies to parenting
- Ephesians 5:1-2 is for parenting
- Ephesians 5:17 is for parenting
- Ephesians 6:10-19 applies to parenting
- because parenting is a function of our role as a disciple of Jesus, we need to get rid of the defensive attitude that says “don’t tell me how to raise my own kid.” Any one of you has the right and responsibility to speak the truth in love to me about my fatherhood as much as any other part of my life.
- because parenting is just a sub-set of our Christian life, there should not be a giant disparity in the church between parents and non-parents.
- Sometimes having a baby seems like it “levels you up” into a private club, and people start paying more attention to you than before. This is sad.
- a single woman in our church recently shared a great story with me of how a young mom asked her for advice on a tricky situation with one of her children. This is how it should be!
- A mom and a woman without kids, if they are both Christians, have more in common than a Christian and an unbeliever, even if they’re both moms in the exact same stage of life.
Dads, the Buck Stops with You
- who does Ephesians 6:4 address? Dads. Fathers, not mothers.
- Dads, step up! The buck stops with you.
- See 1 Timothy 3:4: the husband is the head of the household, ultimately responsible for the children’s behaviour.
- Your wife may be doing the bulk of the hands-on work while you’re at work, but she’s doing so in her function as your helper.
- Do you know what’s going on at home when you’re at work? Are you aware of her burdens?
- Are you setting the tone and vision?
- Are you talking through the discipline methods and standards in your home?
- …or are you leaving it all to her?
- This isn’t about being an authoritarian jerk or steamrolling your wife.
- You need her opinions, her perspective, her gifts, her contributions.
- She is your helper, supplying strength where you are weak.
- You can’t do this without her. Let her help you.
- But don’t forget your role. Whom will God hold responsible for your children? The answer is you, dads.
- We’re using the language of “parenting” in this class but we should know that “mothering” and “fathering” are not interchangeable. These are different roles.
God’s Parenting Job Description
- God has given you a job description: bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
- We don’t get to pick how we bring up your kids, as if we can pick what “parenting style” appeals to us and just go for it. God has told you what to do.
- We are parenting because God has called us to, and we are parenting according to God’s standards. That makes us stewards and agents of God.
- This is an idea we’ll explore in more depth in the next session.
The Vision
- We want to cultivate a collaborative parenting culture at our church, where parents understand that because being a parent is a part of our Christian life, we need each other’s help to do this well.
- We want to break down the individualism, isolation, and defensiveness that often permeates our attitudes towards parenting.
- In these workshops we want to begin to experience that culture as we look into God’s word together, allowing His Spirit to shape us as we help each other see and apply what He’s told us.